I Ching / Hexagram 31

Hexagram 31: Hsien, Influence (Courtship)

Speaks of mutual attraction born of openness and listening, and of influencing others without pressure.

A lake rests on top of the mountain and moistens it with its water.

The situation

Two forces attract and influence each other, like two young people courting. True influence comes from openness and receptivity, from leaving room for the other. It is a good moment for bonds, for listening and for agreements.

The advice

It serves you to stay receptive and calm, and to win others over through your disposition rather than through pressure. Avoid manipulation and the rush to get something in return.

The judgement

The Judgment of Hsien announces success, advises perseverance and declares that taking a wife brings good fortune. The hexagram opens the second part of the I Ching, devoted to human relationships, and it does so with courtship: the moment when two different forces attract each other and begin to transform one another. What is decisive in the Judgment is the kind of influence it proposes. The kind that works is born of receptivity, of leaving a space where the other can enter, just as a valley gathers water. Today it can be read in terms of love, but also of friendship, leadership or teaching. Whoever tries to persuade through pressure or flattery gets little; whoever listens and stays calm attracts others naturally. The perseverance it asks for lies in sustaining that openness without turning it into manipulation or haste.

Lake over Mountain: the two trigrams

Above is the Lake, joyful and open; below is the Mountain, still and firm. The traditional image shows a lake on a mountaintop that moistens the rock while the mountain holds up the water. Each gives the other what it lacks. Tradition also links the Lake with the youngest daughter and the Mountain with the youngest son, and in this arrangement the young man places himself below the young woman: the suitor who courts with respect. That is where the hexagram's meaning comes from. True influence requires the strong to show humility and receptivity, and joy to find a stable base. The Mountain's stillness keeps attraction from turning into blind impulse.

The six lines

  1. First line. The influence is barely noticeable, like a movement in the big toe. Something is beginning to stir, though where it is heading is still unknown.
  2. Second line. You feel the impulse in your calves and want to move right away. Wait: acting too soon brings trouble.
  3. Third line. You let yourself be carried along by other people’s impulses, like the thigh that follows the foot. Chasing after every desire diminishes your dignity.
  4. Fourth line. The influence comes from the heart. Stay steady and calm; agitation only attracts those who already think as you do.
  5. Fifth line. The influence reaches the back of the neck, the firmest part. You stay calm under pressure, although your effect on others is limited.
  6. Sixth line. Your influence stays in words, in the jaw and the tongue. Talking a lot without anything behind it has little effect.

The archetype: The Lovers

The Lovers find themselves drawn together before they know why. Their desire is to come closer to the other, to know them and to let themselves be transformed by them. The archetype lives on small gestures: a glance that lasts a second too long, a letter, a shared silence. Their conflict lies in the pace. One wants to move ahead right now, like the restless calves of the second line, while the other needs time, or circumstances force them to wait. Then comes the temptation to pressure, to manipulate or to fill everything with words that have nothing behind them. The risk is confusing influence with control and losing dignity by chasing every desire. Their best version is two people who influence each other from the heart and respect each other's space.

In literature

  • A Room with a View (E. M. Forster, 1908). Lucy Honeychurch arrives in Florence with her cousin Charlotte and meets George Emerson at the Pension Bertolini. On an outing to Fiesole she stumbles onto a slope covered in violets, and George kisses her before she knows what she feels. Lucy retreats, gets engaged in England to the proper Cecil Vyse and takes months to admit the attraction. The novel follows the rhythm of Hsien: impulse, restraint and the late acceptance of love.
  • Celestina (Fernando de Rojas, 1499). Calisto, rejected by Melibea, turns to the old go-between Celestina to win her. She uses flattery, spells and a cord belonging to Melibea to bend her will, while the servants are driven by greed. It all ends in violent deaths. The work reads as the hexagram's reverse: courtship built on manipulation and haste destroys everyone involved.
  • Daphnis and Chloe (Longus, AD 200). On the island of Lesbos, two young herders grow up together without knowing what love is. When Daphnis falls into a wolf trap and afterward washes in the spring of the Nymphs, Chloe watches him bathe and feels an unease she cannot name. A kiss as the prize in a contest, old Philetas's words about Eros and the meetings of each season draw them closer, gesture by gesture, unhurried.

In history

The marriage of Isabella of Castile and Ferdinand of Aragon (1469). Isabella rejected the suitors proposed by her half-brother, King Henry IV, and chose Ferdinand, heir to Aragon. To reach her, Ferdinand crossed Castile disguised as a muleteer. They married in Valladolid in October 1469, without the king's permission and with a papal dispensation of doubtful validity. The alliance resonates with the hexagram: a courtship of mutual influence that ended up uniting two crowns.

For writers

Write a slow courtship made of small gestures and mutual attraction. Show how each character influences the other without ever quite saying it.

Hsien supports plots of gradual approach. The sequence of its lines, rising from the foot to the mouth, offers an almost literal map. In the setup, the attraction is barely noticeable, a stirring in the big toe: a chance encounter, a gesture no one else sees. The development piles up impulses and brakes, and one of the characters wants to act too soon, as in the second line. The turn comes when the influence reaches the heart and both must decide whether to truly open up or protect themselves. The ending can be union or separation, but it must show how each has changed the other. The mistake to avoid is the one in the sixth line: resolving everything with a grand declaration. In this hexagram, gestures carry more weight than words.

Frequently asked questions

What does hexagram 31 of the I Ching mean?

Hexagram 31, Hsien, translates as Influence or Courtship. It speaks of mutual attraction between two forces and of the influence that comes from receptivity. It advises staying open and calm, winning others over through your attitude and avoiding pressure, manipulation and the rush to get something in return.

What does hexagram 31 mean in love?

It is one of the most favorable hexagrams for love. The Judgment states that taking a wife brings good fortune, and the image describes two young people courting with respect. It favors beginnings, listening and mutual attraction. It asks for patience: the lines warn against rushing ahead and against promises with nothing behind them.

Is hexagram 31 favorable?

Yes, the Judgment announces success and advises perseverance. It is a good moment for relationships, agreements and collaborations. The lines qualify the advice: premature impulses bring trouble, following every whim of others costs you your dignity and talking a lot without action has little effect. The influence that grows from a calm heart is the one that bears fruit.

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Published on October 4, 2026 · updated on October 18, 2026.